This is just a reminder. OurWorld is a GAME!
Some people tend to take ourWorld too seriously. What people think of them, how they look to others, and changing clothes accordingly and so on. Then there are people like me, who aspire (LOL!) for more in ourWorld. I wanted to help people, and help the forum, so I applied to be a moderator. I answered peoples PM's, mails and chats in ourWorld, when they needed help.
There is nothing wrong with that, but I forgot the "game" part of ourWorld. It had become like a job to me at that point. I was always busy, because I was always on, and there was always something to be done. I'm writing in pastence, because it's different now. I'm still busy (especially between 8 pm and 12 am my time), but since I deleted 29, even though it was only for a week, I learned to have FUN on ourWorld again.
As I said, ourWorld is a game, and games are supposed to be FUN! Not all work, not all just hanging out at buzz, saying nothing etc. But really playing the game. I do that in my own (weird) way lol. But even though it's weird, I'm truly having fun again, and I missed that so incredibly much.
So don't be so seriouse. Relax, and be a noob again! (not literally). Some of you may find that you had more fun when you started the game, than you have now. That's mainly because, when you started, you viewed it as a new game. You didn't care that much about how you looked or gems or level. You just talked to people, and did whatever you liked doing.
Remember that :D
mandag den 19. april 2010
tirsdag den 30. marts 2010
Gay people. Lay off them!
I HAD to make a post about this. Everyone seems to have an oppinion about gay people (or ANYONE who isn't 100% straight). Some are homophobes. They have this HUGE problem with gays. Mostly guys can even act like the gay people offends them personally, just by being gay, even though they never even met before. Some thinks MORE highly of people for being gay. Maybe they admire their courage to be gay (?), which I wouldn't understand, since, as I understand it, it's something you're born with, not something you choose. Therefore it doesn't really take courage. It takes courage to admit it though, with all the haters out there.
Personally, I couldn't care less if a person was gay. It's a sexual orientation, not a personality. Of course there are always extremes, no matter what the subject is. I DO have a problem with gay guys acting even more feminine than girls for whatever reason. But that's only because it seems so very fake. Same with gay girls (yes, they're also called gay, not just lesbians), acting like guys. And I don't mean that the guys just ain't masculine, and the girls just ain't feminine. As a tomboy I completely understand that. What I don't like is, when they take it to extremes. Wether it's gay people acting more feminine/masculine than the opposite sex, or any other subjects. I just don't like fanaticism of any kind.
But really people seems to think that others sexual orientation is for everyone to judge. Unless OF COURSE they happen to be hetero sexual... It's like if people with brown hair had to dye their hair, to avoid people shouting mean comments at them, or even beating them up. And they had to build up a lot of courage to admit that they had... Brown hair! WOOOOO!
Would that make sense? Uhm no...
And hetero people, especially guys, seems to think that just because another guy is gay, he falls in love with ALL guys. Like his only criteria is that the person has to be male, and breathing. It's not like hetero guys falls in love with EVERYONE that happens to be female. It just makes no sense to me.
In my oppinion, people who has prejudice in any way, wether it's sexism, racism, homophobia etc, can't be very individual people. It seems they just heard someone elses oppinion, and adopted that, without even thinking about it. Wihtout comtemplating wether it actually makes sense or not. And then they just stick with that. And everyone who tries to make them understand that it makes NO sense that EVERYONE who likes their own sex should have a brain disorder, are freaks or whatever they seem to think, just gets a cold shoulder. The person simply won't listen.
I know it seems contradicting that I'm saying that I couldn't care less if someone is gay, and then I make a long topic about it LOL, but that's because I can't stand people who has something against thousands of other people because of something they have no control over.
To me, it's like people are killing each other everywhere. People are starving, even though we could stop all world famine, if everyone who could, gave 2 dollars. Practically everyone is stealing, and people all over the world are destroying themselves.
But NOOOOOOO that doesn't matter. The GAY people is the REAL threat that we should all do everything we can to stop!
........
Basically, people need to mind their own business. So that girl has brown hair, so that guy is fat, so that girl wears black shoes, so that guy likes to do jigsaw puzzles, so that girl is lesbian.
It's their lifes, it's what they do, have, like or choose. Lay off people. Take care of your own life, and stop trying to ruin others (directed to all prejudice, sexist, racist, homophobic etc people).
Personally, I couldn't care less if a person was gay. It's a sexual orientation, not a personality. Of course there are always extremes, no matter what the subject is. I DO have a problem with gay guys acting even more feminine than girls for whatever reason. But that's only because it seems so very fake. Same with gay girls (yes, they're also called gay, not just lesbians), acting like guys. And I don't mean that the guys just ain't masculine, and the girls just ain't feminine. As a tomboy I completely understand that. What I don't like is, when they take it to extremes. Wether it's gay people acting more feminine/masculine than the opposite sex, or any other subjects. I just don't like fanaticism of any kind.
But really people seems to think that others sexual orientation is for everyone to judge. Unless OF COURSE they happen to be hetero sexual... It's like if people with brown hair had to dye their hair, to avoid people shouting mean comments at them, or even beating them up. And they had to build up a lot of courage to admit that they had... Brown hair! WOOOOO!
Would that make sense? Uhm no...
And hetero people, especially guys, seems to think that just because another guy is gay, he falls in love with ALL guys. Like his only criteria is that the person has to be male, and breathing. It's not like hetero guys falls in love with EVERYONE that happens to be female. It just makes no sense to me.
In my oppinion, people who has prejudice in any way, wether it's sexism, racism, homophobia etc, can't be very individual people. It seems they just heard someone elses oppinion, and adopted that, without even thinking about it. Wihtout comtemplating wether it actually makes sense or not. And then they just stick with that. And everyone who tries to make them understand that it makes NO sense that EVERYONE who likes their own sex should have a brain disorder, are freaks or whatever they seem to think, just gets a cold shoulder. The person simply won't listen.
I know it seems contradicting that I'm saying that I couldn't care less if someone is gay, and then I make a long topic about it LOL, but that's because I can't stand people who has something against thousands of other people because of something they have no control over.
To me, it's like people are killing each other everywhere. People are starving, even though we could stop all world famine, if everyone who could, gave 2 dollars. Practically everyone is stealing, and people all over the world are destroying themselves.
But NOOOOOOO that doesn't matter. The GAY people is the REAL threat that we should all do everything we can to stop!
........
Basically, people need to mind their own business. So that girl has brown hair, so that guy is fat, so that girl wears black shoes, so that guy likes to do jigsaw puzzles, so that girl is lesbian.
It's their lifes, it's what they do, have, like or choose. Lay off people. Take care of your own life, and stop trying to ruin others (directed to all prejudice, sexist, racist, homophobic etc people).
lørdag den 20. marts 2010
Fake Virus
There are many scams on the net, to make you think you have virus, to make you download the anti virus they suggest. Some people even make new kinds of viruses themselves, to sell the ONLY anti virus that can remove them afrerwards, and get money that way. I was victim for one of those sceams (and no, I didn't FALL for it. Read on to get what I mean).
Just saying... Don't trust anything on the internet. I got this a few years back:
(picture coming, when I find out how to put a picture in my blog... I'm a n00b!)
http://www.gratisimage.dk/image-773C_4BBCA67A.jpg
http://www.gratisimage.dk/image-81BF_4BBCA67A.jpg
That stupid page (that was just a pop-up to start with), forced me to download an anti virus. As you can see on the picture (Seriously, I gotta find out how to make a picture!!!), it was clearly fake. First of all, I have an external hard drive called A 29, and that didn't show. second of all, my computer is in danish, not english ._.
It didn't matter what I clicked, it started downloading. I couldn't even kill the process... Then when it's down, I wanna get rid of it, but instead, it autostarts. And like with the download, it didn't matter what I clicked, it still installed. When it was done with that, I wanted to remove the program. But I couldn't! No matter what I did, it wouldn't let me remove it. Took a while for me to get it away, only with the help from my ultra geek dad (still the coolest dad ever!). So don't trust anything on the net. Everything's about money.
Just saying... Don't trust anything on the internet. I got this a few years back:
(picture coming, when I find out how to put a picture in my blog... I'm a n00b!)
http://www.gratisimage.dk/image-773C_4BBCA67A.jpg
http://www.gratisimage.dk/image-81BF_4BBCA67A.jpg
That stupid page (that was just a pop-up to start with), forced me to download an anti virus. As you can see on the picture (Seriously, I gotta find out how to make a picture!!!), it was clearly fake. First of all, I have an external hard drive called A 29, and that didn't show. second of all, my computer is in danish, not english ._.
It didn't matter what I clicked, it started downloading. I couldn't even kill the process... Then when it's down, I wanna get rid of it, but instead, it autostarts. And like with the download, it didn't matter what I clicked, it still installed. When it was done with that, I wanted to remove the program. But I couldn't! No matter what I did, it wouldn't let me remove it. Took a while for me to get it away, only with the help from my ultra geek dad (still the coolest dad ever!). So don't trust anything on the net. Everything's about money.
fredag den 5. marts 2010
The stone plate from Satan
I had this dream, the night after the dream I described below. Satan himself stars in it. But unlike all my other nightmares with him, this had no bad feeling whatsoever.
I was standing in front of a massive stone wall in a desert. It was brown/orang'ish, and went up so high, I couldn't even see the top. Behind me, there was a boulder, and that was it. Behind that, it was all plain desert, and the only entrence through the wall, was a small hole, just big enough for me to crawl through. I didn't know what I was doing there, but I knew I had to get something from inside, so I crawled in there.
As I got in deeper and deeper, it got dark, and I could feel water. It was pitch black, untill I finally saw some weak light ahead. I crawled out of the small hole, and found myself in something that looked like a dungeon. Brown stone walls, a thin layer of water running over the floor. It was one open room, but there was several rooms in it, devided by stone arches and shapes off the wall. I remember torches on the walls, and wooden cages. To my left, was a skeleton in chains, and to my right, a bit ahead, was a corpse, half rotten in one of the wooden cages. Even with all the death around me, I wasn't scared or appauled.
Only about 4 meters ahead, through a stone arch, I saw what I was looking for. It looked like a wooden lectern or something like that, and it had a stone plate on it. I took the plate, and went out the same way I got in. As I got out, and back to the desert, I saw Satan to my left, walking against me. He hadn't seen me, so I just threw the plate in panic, and hid behind the rock not far away. When Satan got there, he saw it and said "How did that get there?". He bend down, and started reading from the plate. "Satans home is...". That's all I remember. I remember that the place mentioned, was a place that existed. Something I knew about, but still, it wasn't a place here on earth, and it wasn't the name of a planet. So I don't know or remember, what the next part was.
I know this is strange, but these dreams were right after each other, and I remember both clearly. Except for the last parts... I never forgot them, and I can't help but wonder if it was just a coinsidense, or if it had some, maybe psychological, meaning. I don't know, I just had to write them down.
I was standing in front of a massive stone wall in a desert. It was brown/orang'ish, and went up so high, I couldn't even see the top. Behind me, there was a boulder, and that was it. Behind that, it was all plain desert, and the only entrence through the wall, was a small hole, just big enough for me to crawl through. I didn't know what I was doing there, but I knew I had to get something from inside, so I crawled in there.
As I got in deeper and deeper, it got dark, and I could feel water. It was pitch black, untill I finally saw some weak light ahead. I crawled out of the small hole, and found myself in something that looked like a dungeon. Brown stone walls, a thin layer of water running over the floor. It was one open room, but there was several rooms in it, devided by stone arches and shapes off the wall. I remember torches on the walls, and wooden cages. To my left, was a skeleton in chains, and to my right, a bit ahead, was a corpse, half rotten in one of the wooden cages. Even with all the death around me, I wasn't scared or appauled.
Only about 4 meters ahead, through a stone arch, I saw what I was looking for. It looked like a wooden lectern or something like that, and it had a stone plate on it. I took the plate, and went out the same way I got in. As I got out, and back to the desert, I saw Satan to my left, walking against me. He hadn't seen me, so I just threw the plate in panic, and hid behind the rock not far away. When Satan got there, he saw it and said "How did that get there?". He bend down, and started reading from the plate. "Satans home is...". That's all I remember. I remember that the place mentioned, was a place that existed. Something I knew about, but still, it wasn't a place here on earth, and it wasn't the name of a planet. So I don't know or remember, what the next part was.
I know this is strange, but these dreams were right after each other, and I remember both clearly. Except for the last parts... I never forgot them, and I can't help but wonder if it was just a coinsidense, or if it had some, maybe psychological, meaning. I don't know, I just had to write them down.
The paper from God.
As anyone who reads my blog, at least somewhat regulary, might have discovered, this is a personal blog. So yes, I write personal things. This, is about a dream I had, when I was about 12. I did write it down, but along with the dream I'm gonna write down next, the paper I wrote it on, got lost. Anyway, I still remember the most importent things... Except THE most importent things unfortunately...
I had a "mission". All I knew, was that I had to get something, from the top of the mountain in front of me. It was a huge mountain. On my way up, I fought kinda... Mario creatures. It wasn't about the fighting, so the dream kinda fast forwarded through it. After a lot of fighting and hazzle, I got to the top. Surprisingly, it was completely flat. In front of me, I saw a grey stone collumn, and on top of that, was a piece of paper. Weird thing is... The paper didn't LIE on the collumn, it was hovering horizontally in the air. But around it, was a semi transparent substance. It didn't have any shape, but it wasn't random. It wasn't fluid, but not solid either. It kinda looked like water made of air, with vanilla in it (?).
I look at it for a little while, because I'm afraid to put my hand in the substance, to take the paper. I finally pull myself together though, and carefully reached for the paper. The substance, didn't feel like anything. It just felt a little chilly on my hand, as I reached through it, to get the paper.
When I got it, I was back down in no time. I saw a uhm... What's it called... Kind of a fruit bar, with fruit drinks. Kinda Hawaii'an style, and the foot of the mountain, and I sat there and looked at the paper. I couldn't read it, they were foreign letters of some kind. And the next part here, will sound extremely silly...
Suddenly, I got this warm, happy feeling. Like a presence of ultimate good. I knew in the dream, that God/Jesus himself was there (that's not the weirdest part). Then I looked to my right, and it was Michael Jackson sitting next to me (Yes yes I know "WTF", but in the dream, it was just a shape, could've been anyone). I looked at the paper, and gave it to him. He smiled and said something like "You did good. You can't read the paper can you?". I say "No, I can't". He nods and told me what it said. Not only do I not remember what the paper said, even though I remember everything else in the dream, but after he told me, he also said "Unfortunately, I can't let you remember what I just told you".
I know this sounds completely ridiculous, but combined with the dream I had the night after, I couldn't help but wonder... Is it purely imagination, or does it mean something? The post over this, will explain why I wonder.
I had a "mission". All I knew, was that I had to get something, from the top of the mountain in front of me. It was a huge mountain. On my way up, I fought kinda... Mario creatures. It wasn't about the fighting, so the dream kinda fast forwarded through it. After a lot of fighting and hazzle, I got to the top. Surprisingly, it was completely flat. In front of me, I saw a grey stone collumn, and on top of that, was a piece of paper. Weird thing is... The paper didn't LIE on the collumn, it was hovering horizontally in the air. But around it, was a semi transparent substance. It didn't have any shape, but it wasn't random. It wasn't fluid, but not solid either. It kinda looked like water made of air, with vanilla in it (?).
I look at it for a little while, because I'm afraid to put my hand in the substance, to take the paper. I finally pull myself together though, and carefully reached for the paper. The substance, didn't feel like anything. It just felt a little chilly on my hand, as I reached through it, to get the paper.
When I got it, I was back down in no time. I saw a uhm... What's it called... Kind of a fruit bar, with fruit drinks. Kinda Hawaii'an style, and the foot of the mountain, and I sat there and looked at the paper. I couldn't read it, they were foreign letters of some kind. And the next part here, will sound extremely silly...
Suddenly, I got this warm, happy feeling. Like a presence of ultimate good. I knew in the dream, that God/Jesus himself was there (that's not the weirdest part). Then I looked to my right, and it was Michael Jackson sitting next to me (Yes yes I know "WTF", but in the dream, it was just a shape, could've been anyone). I looked at the paper, and gave it to him. He smiled and said something like "You did good. You can't read the paper can you?". I say "No, I can't". He nods and told me what it said. Not only do I not remember what the paper said, even though I remember everything else in the dream, but after he told me, he also said "Unfortunately, I can't let you remember what I just told you".
I know this sounds completely ridiculous, but combined with the dream I had the night after, I couldn't help but wonder... Is it purely imagination, or does it mean something? The post over this, will explain why I wonder.
lørdag den 20. februar 2010
All volunteers = Helpers. I scense chaos.
First, I'd like to say, if you're not familiar with the online multiplayer game OurWorld, don't even bother reading this, cuz it will make NO sense lol.
For those volunteers who don't know what the new helper thing is, it's a feature for all volunteers that will go live on wednesday (February 24). A white square smiley face will appear to the right side of your screen (right over where you can buy throwing items and smileys). If you click it, you will be able to turn helper alerts on/off. If it's on, someone who has a question or need help, can go to "account" in the upper right corner and click "live help" to send out an alert to all helpers/volunteers. If you answer it, you will be transported to the person needing help, and you'll get a pop-up saying who it is. Helpers can be recognized by the smiley face in front of their names.
I love the helper idea, don't get me wrong. But many volunteers, just volunteered "for fun". Because they were hoping to get prestige, rewards, special priveleges, and many of them ask the same questions, they would get from other players as helpers. Since this is the case, most of the volunteers, wouldn't be able to help anyone. Actually I wrote that on the ourWorld forum, this is what I wrote.
That pretty much says it. I'm afraid that OurWorld will be a huge mess for a long while, starting next monday.
For those volunteers who don't know what the new helper thing is, it's a feature for all volunteers that will go live on wednesday (February 24). A white square smiley face will appear to the right side of your screen (right over where you can buy throwing items and smileys). If you click it, you will be able to turn helper alerts on/off. If it's on, someone who has a question or need help, can go to "account" in the upper right corner and click "live help" to send out an alert to all helpers/volunteers. If you answer it, you will be transported to the person needing help, and you'll get a pop-up saying who it is. Helpers can be recognized by the smiley face in front of their names.
I love the helper idea, don't get me wrong. But many volunteers, just volunteered "for fun". Because they were hoping to get prestige, rewards, special priveleges, and many of them ask the same questions, they would get from other players as helpers. Since this is the case, most of the volunteers, wouldn't be able to help anyone. Actually I wrote that on the ourWorld forum, this is what I wrote.
Wylde have said that more people are applying to be volunteers than ever. He also said that he thinks it's great, because we need all the help we can get. I trust Wylde's judgement of course, but this really concerns me. The limit to becoming a volunteer is only lvl 30. And I've gotten as much questions from volunteers about basic ourWorld things, as I've gotten from n00bs. It would save a lot of time (and chaos) if people wood look at the knowledge base, but that ain't happening.
I just see people misusing the button, volunteers (many hundreds) being poofed around to people saying "Haha, I made you come!", I see n00bs asking "I played dance planet today, but didn't get a move. why?" and the lvl 32 volunteer standing there saying "uhm... Idk I wondered that myself". I think people should qualify to become helpers, otherwise they're not really helping anyone. Just taking the alert from someone who could actually help.
I'm just... Sceptical.
That pretty much says it. I'm afraid that OurWorld will be a huge mess for a long while, starting next monday.
And people wonder why I don't trust anyone...
It all started at 5:12 am. My big bro sent me a message on msn. He was worried about our dad, because he hadn't heard from him in.... 24 hours -.- Of course I thought it was ridicolous, but he begged me to go with him over there, to check if he was okay, for like 30 minutes. It's because he's had a tough time lately with the health. Blood things and whatelse. I really, REALLY didn't want to. The circumstances: It was early morning. I hadn't slept for 23 hours, I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep after being awake for 58 hours before that, my head had been punding for 6 hours, I have an extreme case of social phobia, I was freezing, and there's ice and snow all over outside.
But... Because I wanted to be nice to him, I said yes anyway. He came over, and we began walking to our dad's place. It was so slippery outside, that we had to glide all the way there, and since I'm not used to walking (because of my social phobia), I got an extreme back pain on top of it all. After an hour of walking, we arrived, knocked on the door, and our dad opened it. It was dark inside, and he looked really tired. He was fine... He had just been playing in town with his friends that night. I was so exhausted I could've slept in the middle of the street on the way there, so I just sat down with my bag against the wall outside his door. My bro wanted to use the toilet before leaving again, and I was pissed as hell... I knew nothing would be wrong with him, and I was so tired, and my whole body hurts so much... I just wanted to kill my bro right there, but it all got even worse...
Because I was so mad, I just left, wanted to go home alone. I slipped (too slippery to walk) half the way, when my bro gained in on me, and apologized (in a joking tone), for dragging me all the way to our dad's. I just mumbled "it's okay..." and kept slipping. Then he wanted me to go back to his place, so I could get some food and drink, and relax a little. I didn't trust him, and I was suspecious, but I forced it out of my mind, and chose to believe that it was an act of kindness, so I accepted. Another hours journey back to his place. I had to stop sometimes to relax my back.
Then we arrived, and I threw myself on the couch right away. Got some lasagna, and tried to stay awake. I assumed that my bro would follow me back home, since he know about my social phobia, and the fact that I have NO sense of direction to the point it's scary. Some people just don't understand how serious social phobia can be... I haven't... Well... Hadn't (coming to that soon), been outside alone, for 6 years. I get sick just from looking out the window. But my bro is the type that thinks people are fine if they don't have any physical injury. If everyone with a mental illness got blue ears, people would take them seriously... Anyway, back to what happened.
He just sat at his computer and played call of duty, when I asked "Yo, how'm I supposed to get home?". Then he said "Use your legs". I just stared blank at him, almost couldn't believe he was actually serious. I just wanna sum all this up... I'm dead tired, and feel like shit. But despite that, I go out with my brother, so he wouldn't have to walk alone, even though I could've stayed home, sleeping in my comfy bed. And the only reason he wanted me to go back home with him, was because he didn't want to go alone there either. He knew I was counting on him bringing me back home. And his excuse is that he's too tired to walk me home?! I'd been up 10 hours longer than him, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even BE there.
After fighting for 10 minutes, I just go. Before I left, I said "just so you know. I don't know the way to dad's or my own home from here", then I left. I had no cell phone, no sense of direction, and I walked around for 2 hours before I finally found my way home. This may not sound bad for any "regular" person. But only people with social phobia would be able to understand how much a simple thing like this, can ruin my chances of ever getting better. I began writing this, as soon as I got in the door so I wouldn't forget this very valuable lesson I have learned over, and over, and over again.
None of my family members, can be trusted. And whenever I show kindness or consideration, I get stabbed in the back. My brother, like everyone else. Was just using me. And when he got what he wanted, I could die for all he cared. So I will end with this quote (that I made myself).
Respect and trust should be earned, not demanded.
But... Because I wanted to be nice to him, I said yes anyway. He came over, and we began walking to our dad's place. It was so slippery outside, that we had to glide all the way there, and since I'm not used to walking (because of my social phobia), I got an extreme back pain on top of it all. After an hour of walking, we arrived, knocked on the door, and our dad opened it. It was dark inside, and he looked really tired. He was fine... He had just been playing in town with his friends that night. I was so exhausted I could've slept in the middle of the street on the way there, so I just sat down with my bag against the wall outside his door. My bro wanted to use the toilet before leaving again, and I was pissed as hell... I knew nothing would be wrong with him, and I was so tired, and my whole body hurts so much... I just wanted to kill my bro right there, but it all got even worse...
Because I was so mad, I just left, wanted to go home alone. I slipped (too slippery to walk) half the way, when my bro gained in on me, and apologized (in a joking tone), for dragging me all the way to our dad's. I just mumbled "it's okay..." and kept slipping. Then he wanted me to go back to his place, so I could get some food and drink, and relax a little. I didn't trust him, and I was suspecious, but I forced it out of my mind, and chose to believe that it was an act of kindness, so I accepted. Another hours journey back to his place. I had to stop sometimes to relax my back.
Then we arrived, and I threw myself on the couch right away. Got some lasagna, and tried to stay awake. I assumed that my bro would follow me back home, since he know about my social phobia, and the fact that I have NO sense of direction to the point it's scary. Some people just don't understand how serious social phobia can be... I haven't... Well... Hadn't (coming to that soon), been outside alone, for 6 years. I get sick just from looking out the window. But my bro is the type that thinks people are fine if they don't have any physical injury. If everyone with a mental illness got blue ears, people would take them seriously... Anyway, back to what happened.
He just sat at his computer and played call of duty, when I asked "Yo, how'm I supposed to get home?". Then he said "Use your legs". I just stared blank at him, almost couldn't believe he was actually serious. I just wanna sum all this up... I'm dead tired, and feel like shit. But despite that, I go out with my brother, so he wouldn't have to walk alone, even though I could've stayed home, sleeping in my comfy bed. And the only reason he wanted me to go back home with him, was because he didn't want to go alone there either. He knew I was counting on him bringing me back home. And his excuse is that he's too tired to walk me home?! I'd been up 10 hours longer than him, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even BE there.
After fighting for 10 minutes, I just go. Before I left, I said "just so you know. I don't know the way to dad's or my own home from here", then I left. I had no cell phone, no sense of direction, and I walked around for 2 hours before I finally found my way home. This may not sound bad for any "regular" person. But only people with social phobia would be able to understand how much a simple thing like this, can ruin my chances of ever getting better. I began writing this, as soon as I got in the door so I wouldn't forget this very valuable lesson I have learned over, and over, and over again.
None of my family members, can be trusted. And whenever I show kindness or consideration, I get stabbed in the back. My brother, like everyone else. Was just using me. And when he got what he wanted, I could die for all he cared. So I will end with this quote (that I made myself).
Respect and trust should be earned, not demanded.
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